Taking Care of You - A Krista Special
Photo by Krista Bolt Photography at Fox & Pearl
Alright, we all know 2020 was a shit-show, cabin-fever, dumpster fire fest. It took a toll on everyone in a variety of ways and is definitely having a spillover effect on 2021. Seriously, a lot of shit has happened in a short amount of time. It’s a lot to process. If the past year and a half hasn’t affected you, I’d like to know what magical beans you’re huffing. But if you’re like us the rest of us, our mental and physical health has seen better days. Self-care and self-love look different to everyone, but it doesn’t change the importance of staying on top of it, especially now. Besides, if you’re not taking care of yourself, how will you have the energy and capacity to be a bad good friend?
You ever heard the phrase “when it rains, it pours”? That’s life. Dump truck loads of stress usually happen all at once. When it continuously happens, and we don’t check in with ourselves, we become numb. We change the baseline for our normal. We start accepting more and more crap, inevitably putting more pressure on ourselves without an outlet. If you’re like me, you’ll be too wound up in responsibilities and everyone else’s needs before you even consider your own. By the time you even think of yourself, you’ve had so much crap unloaded on you that you’ve started to look like a landfill. But it’s okay to take care of you. We hear so much growing up that we need to take care of others, not to be selfish. Taking care of yourself isn’t selfish. Read that again. Taking care of yourself is not selfish – it’s healthy.
You can take care of yourself in a manner of ways. I like to do a morning mental check-in. As soon as I turn off the alarm (okay, fine, as soon as I hit snooze), I ask myself, “what are three “wins” I want for the day”? What little victories do I want for myself? When I first started this, I started small. Very small. My wins were getting out of bed, making the bed, and putting on a boob cage. I found it set a pattern of healthier thoughts for the day. I stopped focusing on what was wrong, but what can I do. It gave me a sense of control in a time when control seemed impossible. I also ended my days by reminding myself what I “won” and if there was anything I hoped to do the following day.
I started setting boundaries and timers. I created alarms on my phone and named them according to the task at hand. Working part-time remotely, with graduate school, and being a dog mom, it all started to run together. I also told more people “no.” Obviously, I told them in more professional and politically acceptable ways. This gave me back a bit of time I was severely missing. I even put myself in mini timeouts. I started becoming more aware of my stress levels and how my body reacted to stress that I was able to catch it before I became a landfill of a person. As soon as those warning signs started (clenched jaw, tight shoulders, etc.), I stepped away. Five minutes spent on another task can really make a difference.
Another way for self-care I’m sure we’re all familiar with is “treat yo-self”. You know more than anyone else what you like and what makes you feel good. Scrape those pennies together and get a facial if that’s your thing. Personally, I needed a me day this week. I needed to feel like a human again. So, I broke down and got my hair colored. It’s amazing what someone else washing and coloring your hair can do to your energy level and outlook. I felt revived. Scheduling time for yourself is crucial. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Even if you just need a 15-minute bike ride to get fresh air and clear your head, or drive around the block with the windows down just to get out of the house, take the time.
It takes more to fill an empty cup than it does a half-empty one.