Help! I need somebody

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Help! Not just anybody. John Lennon and Paul McCartney of the Beatles are not the only persons alive that shout “Help” in a rather peppy upbeat demeanor that distracts us from the call. A lot of us are not feeling so “self-assured” but trying to look like we have our shit together on the outside. We did everything we thought we could to muster up our spirits —have texted our friends, we’ve done our hair—yet we still feel like we can't muster up the support we need to get our feet back on the ground. Krista and Ayrielle are not mental health professionals, but we know the exact somebody on a college campus you need to talk to regarding these things.

Academic Advisor - You may be more familiar with your academic advisor’s role as a registration counselor. They talk you through the plan of study to get you closer to obtaining that diploma you have been working hard on achieving. They also make recommendations on what “extracurricular” activities to build your resume. These individuals are also the first responders to mental health issues their students are having. They can’t guide you through the emotional trauma that you are experiencing, but they can navigate the waters where universities often structure these resources and they can do so with compassion.

“Most of us are trained to recognize when our students are in distress, all of us are trained to support students in their time of need, create a safe space, and connect students with key resources and personnel that can help them” - Ayrielle Espinosa, graduate coordinator

Their network on campus is vast, so if you don't know specifically what you need or what resources are on your campus, look to the academic advisor as to the starting point. They will do the rest. 

College Chaplain - Private religious institutions or churches near public campuses, often have chaplains, a cleric (such as a minister, priest, pastor, rabbi, purohit, or imam) or a lay representative of a religious tradition, that oversee programs on campus that foster spiritual, ethical, and religious exchanges. They can be a good ear to talk through some of your issues, but they also have the same skills as academic advisors in that their network on campus is very wide and they can often direct a student to personnel that can help them in a more clinical way than a spiritual one. 

Dean of Students -  After speaking with an advisor or a chaplain, do not be surprised if someone from the Dean’s Office reaches out to you next. It is typically the best practice (sometimes a policy) that these individuals report a student of concern to the Dean of Students, even if the meeting seemed positive and no critical action needs to be taken. Part of this is to follow up and provide the assurance you are given all the resources needed, part of this provides waivers/protection for the students, and part of this is to keep a record of what happened. The last two might seem a little weird or even off-putting. You talked with someone you trusted about something that makes you feel vulnerable. Please note that this entry on the record does not say what was discussed. For example, if there was an episode that created a moment where you were depressed for several weeks, it does not go into details of what happened. Just simply states you were experiencing depression-like feelings, it affected these dates, and you were recommended XYZ. If you were absent on a day of a large test because of depression, and you went to get council for it then the Dean of Students has a record and can report to your instructor that it was an excused absence and that by school policy you can retake the test with no demerit to your grade. You don't have to explain to the instructor why. You don't have to give any justification to anyone. You sharing your vulnerabilities with the person who chooses to share them stays with just those people. Also if say a year from now, you are triggered from the memory of what happened that led you to be in the same mind frame, the Dean of students can see it is an anniversary and will reach out and maybe provide authorization for absences for those set of classes without we have to go through the whole emotional labor of explaining yourself. 

Counseling & Psychological Services - Most four-year institutions do provide counseling services with licensed therapists or psychologists. It will not be uncommon for the advisor, chaplain, or Dean to recommend that you schedule an appointment with this office. You can seek out their assistance for a wide range of reasons: difficulties adjusting to college life, struggling with depression, anxiety, difficult relationships, body image concerns, sexuality issues, identity problems, trauma, and substance abuse issues, etc. There is a license restriction in the United States where the student obtaining the services must be in the same state as the counselor which has made it difficult for many students to obtain this free service if they are outside of the state or international. But often when they cannot provide this service, they can make recommendations to those that can or apps and online digital resources depending on your needs. Outside of having a support group, often the best tool for your mental health is being able to reflect and being mindful. Counselors can provide you with information about meditation, tracking your mood/journaling, and creating habits that help you address negative thoughts. 

988 - The Suicide Prevention Hotline is becoming a three-digit number in the United States, much like 911. There is a possibility that you may still need to call 1-800-273-8255 as not all carriers have made the transition (the FCC has mandated all phone carriers to have 988 in effect by July 16th, 2022). 

Timeline for Transition to 10-Digit Dialing:

• Beginning April 24, 2021, to begin to become accustomed to 10-digit dialing, consumers should begin dialing 10 digits (3-digit area code + 7-digit telephone number) for all local calls. If they forget and dial just 7 digits, their call will still be completed.

• Beginning October 24, 2021, consumers must dial 10-digits (area code + telephone number) for all local calls. On and after this date, local calls dialed with only 7 digits may not be completed, and a recording will inform you that your call cannot be completed as dialed. Consumers must hang up and dial again using the area code and the 7-digit number.

• Beginning July 16, 2022, dialing “988” will route calls to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline.

These calls do go to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, which is a national network of approximately 170 local crisis centers that deal with a suicidal crisis or emotional distress. The service is free and available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. All of the calls are confidential. If your friends start to post concerning things on social media, you can connect to social media outlets directly. And those social media platforms will contact your friend with information about resources (much like how the Dean of Students will reach out when an advisor puts a student of concern report out). The behaviors listed below may be signs that someone is thinking about suicide.

• Talking about wanting to die or wanting to kill themselves

• Talking about feeling empty, hopeless, or having no reason to live

• Making a plan or looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching for lethal methods online, stockpiling pills, or buying a gun

• Talking about great guilt or shame

• Talking about feeling trapped or feeling that there are no solutions

• Feeling unbearable pain (emotional pain or physical pain)

• Talking about being a burden to others

• Using alcohol or drugs more often

• Acting anxious or agitated

• Withdrawing from family and friends

• Changing eating and/or sleeping habits

• Showing rage or talking about seeking revenge

• Taking great risks that could lead to death, such as driving extremely fast

• Talking or thinking about death often

• Displaying extreme mood swings, suddenly changing from very sad to very calm or happy

• Giving away important possessions

• Saying goodbye to friends and family

• Putting affairs in order, making a will

If these warning signs apply to you or someone you know, get help as soon as possible, particularly if the behavior is new or has increased recently.

You should always dial 911 in an emergency. 

We don’t want you to leave on this negative headspace, but we recognize that investing in yourself and your community cannot be done if you are missing the basic needs. Your bad good friends want you to be well.